So I watched the MCR documentary and then listened to the album 'Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge' immediately afterwards. Fucking mind blowing. I felt like i was in their heads. I felt what they had felt. I experienced this album in a whole new light. It's so weird. Watching something I've watched before, and listening to something i have listened to before, they make me feel one way separate, but TOGETHER, man. And I tell you something..................Gerard Way. He has been through a lot. I'm just so proud of him for making it out alive and well. I'm also happy that everything happened at an early stage of the My Chem life. If he had went through all the drugs and alcohol in, lets say, 2008 instead of '04, it would've probably ruined the band, or made it harder for them. But he was able to tell himself that he was NOT OKAY,and get help. I look up to him because he was such a great guy AND STILL IS TO THIS DAY. I know that he wasn't the only one to go through things, but right now, he's touching my heart in a very inspiring way. It makes me want help. He makes me realize that I can't do this alone. People always say that this music kills kids, but it has done just the opposite. The other day I was about to drown myself and in the water, over all the muffled sounds, i hear Oliver Sykes sing my favourite line: I can't drown my demons they know how to swim. It's like he was literally there staring me down saying "Kareema, killing yourself won't make the voices go away, it's letting them win". I'm still here because of Bring Me The Horizon . I have hope because of Pierce The Veil. My Chemical Romance helps me see that I don't have to do this alone. Sleeping With Sirens gets me to say Fuck the world and their "perfect" view of how things should be. They aren't the only bands who've been there. They were all there when I had no one to turn to. So people who say that bands kill kids, they don't know shit. Real bands save fans, and real fans save bands.
Days clean: 1. Had an incident yesterday. And the day before. Sorry.
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