Its 11:51pm. I can't sleep. Here I am again! Welcome. Tonight, I'm on my mind. I really feel like this is it for me. The only reason I'm here is because it'd hurt him too much if I left. Talk about selflessness AM I RIGHT!? *Buh dum tsss*
Anyways I am really trying to stay positive. I haven't had my period for almost 3 weeks, and I just found out I'm NOT pregnant. This is how much life is getting to me. I am, really trying.
Guess who's back? And more depressed? Kareema's back! Now let's dish!
Alright. It's been a minute. I went to college! It was great and terrible and I learned SO MUCH, and I left after the first year. There wasn't much for me there, except amazing lifelong friendships. I didn't even know what I wanted to do, and I wasn't about to waste time and money. I've been a Baker, a manager, a sous chef and now I'm a dog Walker! Believe it or not the pay goes up with each job. I love walking dogs, but I do want to go to culinary school! However, I'm only getting about 7k in grants and loans. WE'RE TRYING TO FIGURE IT OUT!
Robert's been amazing, 4 years in August and I wouldn't change a thing about us. We're also in an polyamorous relationship. It's different but perfect. With that being said, you can count on me falling into here for many "men suck and I can't find any women" moments. We're living together, right now with roommates but hopefully we can move into our own place soon! We have the money, we just have dumb issues with credit.
So I'm starting therapy in July. I don't want to do it and I don't know what I'm gonna say but I feel like I should do it. I'm having a lot of bad days. 22 is just like 18 except im too much of a pussy to hurt myself so I abuse drugs and lie about it to the love of my life. I don't use when he doesn't know, but I lie about the reasons. And I really want to drink right now. I'm smoking already.
Life is really stressful right now and I just need one thing to go right. I'm having a lot of bad days.
Well look at this! I'm back. Its currently 12:32am and I am high on *life* laying next to my cat Milo. I'm starting therapy next month, but I figured I'd try this again.
I've got to sleep because I have WORK in the morning(I know I'm responsible) but I will come back with a FOUR YEAR UPDATE.
Peace.
