Woah

Its 11:51pm. I can't sleep. Here I am again! Welcome. Tonight, I'm on my mind. I really feel like this is it for me. The only reason I'm here is because it'd hurt him too much if I left. Talk about selflessness AM I RIGHT!? *Buh dum tsss*

Anyways I am really trying to stay positive. I haven't had my period for almost 3 weeks, and I just found out I'm NOT pregnant. This is how much life is getting to me. I am, really trying.

I'm Back!

Guess who's back? And more depressed? Kareema's back! Now let's dish!

Alright. It's been a minute. I went to college! It was great and terrible and I learned SO MUCH, and I left after the first year. There wasn't much for me there, except amazing lifelong friendships. I didn't even know what I wanted to do, and I wasn't about to waste time and money. I've been a Baker, a manager, a sous chef and now I'm a dog Walker! Believe it or not the pay goes up with each job. I love walking dogs, but I do want to go to culinary school! However, I'm only getting about 7k in grants and loans. WE'RE TRYING TO FIGURE IT OUT!

Robert's been amazing, 4 years in August and I wouldn't change a thing about us. We're also in an polyamorous relationship. It's different but perfect. With that being said, you can count on me falling into here for many "men suck and I can't find any women" moments. We're living together, right now with roommates but hopefully we can move into our own place soon! We have the money, we just have dumb issues with credit.

So I'm starting therapy in July. I don't want to do it and I don't know what I'm gonna say but I feel like I should do it. I'm having a lot of bad days. 22 is just like 18 except im too much of a pussy to hurt myself so I abuse drugs and lie about it to the love of my life. I don't use when he doesn't know, but I lie about the reasons. And I really want to drink right now. I'm smoking already.

Life is really stressful right now and I just need one thing to go right. I'm having a lot of bad days.

Oooh Boy

Well look at this! I'm back. Its currently 12:32am and I am high on *life* laying next to my cat Milo. I'm starting therapy next month, but I figured I'd try this again.

I've got to sleep because I have WORK in the morning(I know I'm responsible) but I will come back with a FOUR YEAR UPDATE.

Peace.

New Beginnings

I'm so ready to go. I flushed my razors. Robert has really helped me through a lot in a short amount of time. Everyone should have someone care for them, like he does for me.  Good thing he'll never see this (lawl). This week will be my last week before I move. Hope it's a good one.  

#LoveWins

Hey! Long time no see. So a couple updates. first on the list; GAY MARRIAGE IS LEGAL IN ALL 50 STATES!!!!!! It's about time America stopped being such HOMOPHOBES! There's still tons of work to be done but this is a great improvement and accomplishment. Second on the agenda, WARPED TOUR IS 12 DAYS AWAY!!!!!! I am SO excited it's all I can think about. I'm so ready to go meet all my favorite people in the entire world. Next, I got tapers and plugs so that after warped I can start stretching my ears! I'm so ready for this and I can't wait to start. We're waiting until after warped tour in case something goes wrong. I don't wanna be at warped with a blowout (lawl). Another update; I'M GOING TO SEE LILY SINGH A.K.A IISUPERWOMANII LIVE ON THE SATURDAY AFTER WARPED!!!! It's gonna be really cool to see her perform live. I'm wondering how it's gonna go because she's a youtuber. What, do they do their skits in person? Or is it like a standup type thing? Either way i'm going to love it a ton. LAST BUT NOT LEAST, I'm typing this all up from my new computer. Yeah, I have one of those now. It's a Chromebook and it's pretty and I love it a ton. Everybody says that it gets better, and I guess it does. We'll see how things go when college starts though. 

Cellar door- Escape The Fate

I'm so tired but I keep having little nightmare I can barely wake out of. My body is killing me, my brain is scaring me. My heart is breaking me, and everyone's laughing. I'm so stressed. I thought it would all end after school, but I forgot that it's deeper than that, school just helped push it. I forgot just how screwed in the head I really am.

It Never Ends-Bring Me The Horizon

Well, this is it. The last blog(aahhhh lol no). This was fun, a lot of fun. This thing helped me get out a lot of feelings I trapped inside of me. I'm glad to be out of school. Fairmont Heights has taught me a lot. I've made some really good friends, met some really mean people, and had some really good times. Overall, the whole school experience from Kindergarten to 12 grade was something everyone should go through. I just hope everyone gets to experience it with the same people. I don't think this is my last blog forever. I really need a place like this to vent and just express myself. I'll probably come back pm here fro time to time. As for my senior year, I'm glad its over, I don't wanna relive it, and I can't wait for new beginnings. Next comes prom, and graduation. Then warped tour!! After that, I have orientation at Mary Baldwin and then school starts again, but in a whole new way. I'm gonna miss the whole school thing, but I'm ready for the real world. I just hope its ready for me
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