Not a good day. I guess i really wanted to talk to someone today. But i didn't wanna intrude in on Ms.Marissa's life like that. She was probably busy anyways. If it weren't for the contract, I would've cut. But I take promises seriously and I am trying to get better. I got out of this dark place before, I know I can do it again. I'm not very good at small talk, i recently realized. Anyways, I know I'm getting better because I've started thinking about flushing my blades. I'm not quite there yet, but I've thought about it. That's a step. I really wanted to cut today. I was ready too. But when i looked at the back of my phone, almost seeing the razor, like i had xray vision or something, i knew i couldn't go back on my word. At least not on the first day. I had to stay strong for me. And for her. For Keri.
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