Funny day today. These Hoes Out There. Anyways, I'm being forced to go to prom. They say they understand me and pay attention to my feelings, but its obvious that they don't. One moment I'm excited for prom and I want a yearbook from a school I hate and don't know half the people here, and the next thing you know I don't want to go anywhere they will be even if I've always wanted to go and dreamt about it for years? Its very obvious that people that hurt me will be there and it's the last thing i want. No one gets me. Kellin does though. That's sad. The only people that understand exactly how i feel are people that don't even know I exist. People that know what it's like to feel like me, and can tell me how to live like this and survive, don't even know my name. Kellin Quinn is an angel. The rest of them are too, but he's the only one that has been in the same situation I've been in. Not this one, the lifelong one. He helps me. He knows me. He is me. I wish we could meet. I'd tell him everything, like we're friends. I'd probably start crying on his shoulder and blurt out all of my problems to him like a blabbering fool. He'd know what to say though. He always does. I think my favourite lyric is going to change soon, which is good. Right now it's "if you look in the mirror and don't like what you see, you can find out first hand what its like to be me." . its from My Chemical Romance's song The End. Great song. But i heard something the other day that stuck. It might be my new favourite. Funny how prom turned into all this (insert crying laughing emoji here). Anywho, i have sleep to get to so yeah.
Days Clean: 9 ..... I'm getting there.
I cry alot now. They say it never helps you but it did. Ever since that contract I've cried more.
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